Cupid, how come whenever I try to work on myself or grow, I seem to get into arguments with my friends? — Anonymous, sent via Instagram DM
Hi Anonymous, blessings to you and all of your friends!
What you are going through is a very common thing, so firstly, please don’t worry or think that there is something wrong with you or with your relationship.
Imagine that you and your friends all live inside the same building, and that you met them on the third floor. The third floor is a really great floor! It’s full of fun, games, and laughter, and for a while, you loved hanging out with your friends there.
But one day, a little voice inside you urged you to explore the other parts of the building — parts that you sense are there, but you can’t yet see. You’ll know that on other floors, or in other rooms, you might look out the window and see different things. It could be a different view, or different colors you haven’t yet experienced. And so with your brave little heart, you ventured beyond the third floor to see what else is out there.
Behold, you find yourself on the fourth floor! The fun, games, and laughter are still there, but even more intensely. Plus, the fourth floor is huuuuuuuuge and the view is even better! What joy it is to be filled with even more things you love! You try to go back to the third floor to tell all of your friends and invite them to come with you to the fourth floor, but they just won’t budge.
Some of them will be really happy for you and give you space to be on the fourth floor, while letting you know that they feel comfortable on the third floor and totally wish you well. Other times, some friends might tell you that the fourth floor isn’t so good, and you should come back down to the third floor.
In the interest of wanting to stay together with your friends, and maybe with an unspoken expectation that hopefully one day they’ll see the light and want to join you on the fourth floor, you hunker down and wait.
Within the walls of the third floor, suddenly you feel the space might be too cramped, or you might have trouble breathing deeply, or you want to sing — and sing really, really loudly, boldly and powerfully — but because the space is small, you might fear your voice might be too loud and make others uncomfortable.
You might try again and gently persuade your friends to give the fourth floor a try. After all, that is where you’ve been happiest and if they could just allow themselves to try, they would know it, too, and know that you were right all along! But alas, they don’t want to go, and more differences in opinion, beliefs, and values crop up, to the point where the fork in the road presents itself again and again and again.
You will think, should I stay longer, and hope things change and we all go together? If I go alone, will I make it alone, and what if I don’t want to go alone? How I do get I want but also keep the peace?
Dear heartful soul, please know that it is okay to want to be on the fourth floor, and to go up as high and as far as you want to go. This is one of growing pains on the spiritual journey — is that we can’t take people with us if they don’t want to come along.
I know you wanna bring all of your friends there because you love them and want to share the joy and expansion, but if they don’t want to come along, there’s nothing you can do. They have their life, and you have yours!
On the fourth floor, you will be without the old friends from the third floor, and perhaps they may not even be able to perceive you or hear you or see you anymore, and that’s okay! There will be other friends on the other floors, and you are free to make friends with people on every single floor. And that is because we can be friendly and open with anyone when we come with a sense of kindness and acceptance.
To be friends with someone is to allow them the full space of who they are and who they want to be. It is natural to want to nurture others and help them to grow, and this is part of your beauty. So what you can do is simply to wish them well. Wish yourself well, too.
Feel courage and confidence to move forward and do what’s right for you. Don’t hold yourself back to wait for anyone else because there is too much joy and love to be had in the universe to wait another moment. Dive into your open heart and allow this passion to take you to new heights and exotic places!
La la la!